Celebrating

Five years ago we returned from Ethiopia with our oldest babe in our arms and started learning how to love in ways we had never experienced before. That love carried us through some of our darkest days over the past four years. We added to the celebration today when we met with a judge to finalize the adoption of our two youngest babes. Feeling grateful for the privilege to share life with these babes.

One Year Ago Today

A year ago we held these two babes for the first time. I wasn't sure if my heart could stretch anymore, but it did. The few hours we spent with them were beautiful and would carry us through the months of unknown separation and heartache. As their mama I will always treasure those first moments with them and when I was finally able to hold them in my arms.

6 Months Home

It has been six months since we stepped off the plane with these beautiful babes. I can't even begin to adequately express all my heart has felt these past six months....

Celebrating 3 months

Yesterday was three months since we brought the youngest babes home - Today we celebrated by cooking up some delicious Ethiopian food. These past three months have brought about a lot of change on so many different levels, and at the end of the day I am still overwhelmed that I was given the privilege to being their mama. 

So This is Happening....

It's finally happening! So excited to return to Ethiopia and introduce the little man to his brother and sister that he as faithfully prayed for these past three and a half years!!!!

An Update

Just thought that you might be interested in seeing where we are at in the adoption process. Head over to Our Journey to Ethiopia to find out!

Three Years With the Little Man

Adoption Camp

We've spent the past four days participating in the African Carribean Heritage Adoption camp in Denver. It has been a wonderful experience for our family, and without a doubt a huge highlight in the little man's life. He has loved getting to meet friends from all over and being able to spend lots of quality time with his little buddy from Cheyenne.

There is a lot more that I would like to share regarding this camp: the theme, the activities for kids, the sessions for parents, what it means for us as a family. However, there is still a lot of processing going on so that might have to come at a later date.

National Adoption Month

Check out Woventogetherbylove to learn more about National Adoption Month.

Hoping to have something regarding adoption posted there each day this month!

Celebrating Two Years with Tree Hugging

Yesterday marked the two year anniversary since we brought M. home.

Two years. Two years! Time has flown by!

In addition to the many special stories and memories that were shared again this week, we headed out to a local nursery on Friday and bought an aspen tree.

I have always had this little idea/dream to plant a tree for each one of our children when they were born. Obviously, our children will be coming into our families at very different times and ways, so that might not work. But, two years is just as joyous of an occasion to put this idea into motion.

M. was filled with excitement about "his tree" and as soon as we set it on the ground, he started doing a little dance to celebrate. He was also sure it give it lots of hugs so it would grow big and strong like him. And because he is who he is, he was also sure to yell at anyone within walking distance that this was his tree and "No one can take it - even if you want it!" Dinner was even interrupted a few times as we "checked" on the tree to make sure it was doing okay.

So here is to M. May you grow big and strong. May you become deeply rooted and receive all the nourishing that you need. Love you little man!

Two Years Ago Today

Two years ago today we met M. for the first time.

(September 18, 2011 - Two years after first meeting M.)

We spent some time remembering those special moments today.

As we reread our journal entries from that day (feel free to read our entries from last year as we spend this week remembering our time in Ethiopia), our hearts are filled with emotions and gratitude for the past two years. It hasn't always been easy and we haven't always had all the answers, but those first moments of seeing M. are still so clear in our minds and we are so thankful that he is our son.

There are many moments over the past two years where I felt that I have no patience left in me, no tolerance left for the energy and friendliness, no freaking idea how I am suppose to raise this beautiful boy in a way that won't destroy him and mess him up....

But, somehow in those moments, I gain glimpses of the beauty of having this little boy as my son. I gain glimpses of the many, many lessons that are being thrown at me to learn through his heart. When he cuddles up next to me, calls me his princess, and creates rules that involve hugs my heart swells knowing that he is absolutely perfect for me - even in the most challenging moments.

Ugh.

We've had some interesting conversations these past few days with the little man about his race.

Comments have been made at school and long story short, it is impacting his heart and how he views himself.

My heart breaks for him and my eyes well up with tears even as I write this. I want nothing more than for my sweet boy to feel like he belongs and is beautiful. I want him to be confident in who God created him to be and never think that he falls short or is the wrong color.

So this is what is keeping me up at night. This is what I am now currently trying to teach myself all about.

"Individuals of any race or culture do not outgrow the longing to be connected - to have a sense of belonging, to be with others who are "just like me," and to know they are a part of a broader community." (Excerpt from Dim Sum, Bagels, and Grits)

You just forget how privileged you are to be white until something like this smacks you in the face.

Comments

Going through the process of adoption can be a journey that allows you to have some interesting interactions with a lot of people. I don't know if this happens with other parents, but we get some very personal questions asked of us by complete strangers. We also hear a lot of people's opinions about what we are doing.

We currently have some friends of ours navigating through a very difficult decision and as I have spent time listening to their struggles and trying to encourage them, I am dumbfounded by the liberty some people feel they can take in telling them what should or shouldn't be done.

I found a blog post here that gives a glimpse into some of the things people feel they need to say to families. Definitely hard to believe - but it makes me so thankful for the times when people are sensitive and caring.

Here are some things that people have said to us:

Us - "We're adopting from Ethiopia!"

Person - "Are you going to get a child that is white or will they not let you have that choice?"

Another Person - "Is it going to be white?"

Person - "Are you babysitting?"

Me - "No, this is my son."

Person - "Oh, is your husband an athlete at the University?"

Person after finding out M. is adopted - "Well thank goodness you were able to get him out of that horrible situation and place."

Person - "So did you adopt because you can't have any real kids?" (As if M. is just a toy or pretend child?!)

After introducing M.

Person -"So with a weird name like that, where did he come from?"

Exciting News!

Check out this post.

We are super excited to be here at this stage finally!

Let the waiting begin......

The Best Phone Call EVER!

Two years ago today we received the best phone call imaginable. I remember that moment as if it were just yesterday. Micah and I were enjoying our first week of summer vacation by doing what everyone does their first week of summer vacation, spring cleaning our house. Don't ask me why, because I was fixing to leave for a trip to Honduras the very next morning and had yet to pack and get things prepped for my extended leave. Apparently this is how we roll - CRAZY! I remember that the music was blaring (sorry downstairs neighbors) and I was doing two of my least favorite things, standing on a chair and dusting. Micah literally had his head in the oven and was scrubbing away.

His phone began ringing and I am pretty sure he expressed some angry thought, and almost didn't answer the phone. I carefully stepped off the chair to turn the music down and then looked back at Micah to see him sitting down in the chair. He put his hand to his head and looked as if someone had just died. This is what I thought the phone call was about. Instantly I started scheming how I could make things work for Honduras and whatever needed to happen for our family or friends. I grew anxious as I waited for Micah to indicate somehow who it was and what had happened.

Then it happened.

He said our son's name for the first time and immediately I knew that this was the phone call we had dreamed about receiving. This was the phone call that our hearts had longed for. This is the phone call that we definitely weren't anticipating on this day, but would take.

It took everything in me to hold it together, but let's be honest. I started crying immediately after I heard Micah speak his name and confirm through eye contact that this was real. Then I was the one that had to sit down. I waited for Micah to finish up and then repeat to me verbatim what our agency had just said to him.

After he finished, I thought that was it. So I just sat there soaking it all in and trying to get the tears to stop streaming down my face. Then Micah told me that they would be sending a picture. I dreaded thinking I would have to wait to see it until I returned home from Honduras. Fortunately, all the information they would be sending us would be electronically. So we put the cleaning on hold and sat down to find out more about our son and see his face for the first time.

It felt like an eternity waiting for that picture to download and my heart felt like it was beating a thousand beats per minute.

And then we saw his lovely face for the first time.

And we stared at this picture for what felt like an eternity, all the while falling in love with our son.

We speculated about his personality, what he was thinking and feeling, how he would feel about us, what he had been through in such a short lifetime, could we do a good job....

Our hearts grew so much bigger in those fifteen minutes, much bigger than we could have ever anticipated.

I left for Honduras the next morning carrying a crappy black and white printer version of this photo and I stared at it every chance I had. I was traveling Honduras after having received a grant and the opportunity to work with Heifer International. However, all my mind could think about was him. Every person, every hillside, every flower, all of it made me think of him and long for him even more. My heart swelled and I spent hours writing letters in hopes of easing some of that swelling.

Two years later our hearts are still very swollen with the love and the joy that this little man brings our family. It is hard to remember what life was like before him. He is perfect for our family - more perfect than we tend to realize. We are so thankful for that phone call that altered our lives, and even more thankful to be staring at his face in person and no longer a crappy black and white photo printing.

Love you little man.

Raising Awareness

Part of becoming parents to a child who is adopted meant for us that we were also going to become advocates for adoption. We wanted to spur others on in thinking about their personal responsibilities toward the orphans of this world.

Don't get me wrong - as much as I believe in adoption - I don't think everyone should adopt. For a long time I thought the opposite. I thought that everyone had a personal responsibility, that everyone should be making the financial sacrifices to pursue the monstrosity of paperwork to bring a child into their home, to care for those who long to be part of a loving family.

Now I believe that everyone does have a responsibility to care for the orphans, but it will look differently for each person. You may be called to adopt. You might also be called to support orphans through acts of your time, your finances, or your prayers. You might even be called to support families considering adoption - again through acts of your time, your finances, or your prayers. Whatever it may be, I believe you are called to be involved.

We have some dear friends...and Shelly wrote about her family's thoughts regarding adoption. You can check it out here at Shelly's post. I am also including a blog that I follow. I have enjoyed reading the posts regarding adoption and hope you do too.

One Year Ago Today - Part 11

"Dearest M....

It is hard to remember much of this day because some much of it was spent on airplanes, in airports, and in complete exhaustion. You did fairly well on the flight from Ethiopia - sleeping most of the way in between your Abat and I.

However, once we landed in Washington D.C. you started to have a harder time. I think that you are getting sick - or maybe you are just grieving - or maybe you are wondering what the heck these two crazy white people are doing with you. The Ethiopian culture deals with children so differently from the American culture. I found myself longing to get back to the Ethiopian culture as soon as we stepped onto the plane for Denver. If only people knew that you have been through so much - have been traveling for the last 20 hours - have had your life completely turned upside down.

Hang in there baby..."

*Our lovely friend Melissa has a wonderful way with words - she blessed us with several of her writings these past few days - and I would like to share them with you here...

Eyes wide

yet fading fast.

One long journey

ending

Another just beginning

A father. A mother.

A son.

Arriving.

A family unfolding.

The walls of 519

wait in anticipation.

The year will bring

learning. growing.

crying. laughing.

pooping.

On the floor

In the tub

Even...in the diaper.

Hearing the language

of Mother Ethiopia

"Nai" -- Come

'I want to show you

my world

"Nai" -- Come

'You are mine

I am yours'

"Nai" -- Come

' I love you

and accept you.'

Check out more of her writing here at: Melissa's post

One Year Ago Today - Part 10

"Dearest M....

Well this is it. Today is our final day in Ethiopia before returning to the states. I feel as if this time has gone by so quickly. It saddens me some to know that it will be a while before we return here.

We didn't do too much today - except for all of the packing. We ate a wonderful breakfast again - you really like the oatmeal and juice. Hopefully I can figure out how to make the juice for you. The oatmeal, your Abat should have down. He is an oatmeal fanatic.

We played a little bit outside - the gate guards are so friendly with all of the children. Honestly, everyone is so wonderful with the children It is such a beautiful thing.

While I was packing, Abat ran some errands. We got your passport and visa. Your pictures are so adorable. In one of them you look like a stocky football player ready to hurt someone.

In the afternoon prior to leaving the hotel, the staff had a coffee ceremony for all of the families. It was a very kind gesture and allowed each family some time to just relax, visit and enjoy our remaining moments in Ethiopia.

As we were driving to the airport, I felt a lot of sadness for our departure, the uncertainty as to when we would return, how much of your culture will be missed because we don't live here. You however, you were happy. Happy to be watching the cars and people pass by. I will be sad to say goodbye to the people we have met along the way - the people that have navigated this week of life changing events with us. I am excited though to continue our journey with you.

I love you M...."

One Year Ago Today - Part 9

"Dear M....

Today brings yet another big day. This morning we went back to the care center for the farewell party. I didn't know what to think about this. It was so exciting that we were finally with you, but sad that you were leaving and you would most likely not see many - if any - of these people - your friends - again.

They dress the children in traditional attire - you looked so great in your little outfit. They even gave you a sash to wear with green, yellow and red on it. While we were upstairs changing, you were so excited to see the babies. You actually went and patted several on the head and then gave them kisses without any prompting. It was incredibly sweet. We sat near your friends and they were all talking to you so excitedly. You seemed so happy to see them, but so sad as well.

There was a traditional coffee ceremony. During this time Dr. Fikru spoke to the families about the importance of adoption. He shared how they work so hard to make sure that all kids are adopted need homes as a last resort. It is their goal to preserve the family as much as possible. You also peed on me again during this time. You must really enjoy doing that.

This afternoon they took the group out shopping and I stayed behind with you at the hotel. This was my first time alone with you and I was pretty nervous. But after your nap you and I had a good time together. We read books, played A - LOT of peek-a-boo, and watched all of the cars going by on the street. There were many times when I would just look at you and marvel at finally being with you.

Tomorrow we will prepare to return to the states. It will be hard to leave this beautiful country - already we wish we had more time here. Today at one point while playing peek-a-boo, you just stopped and looked out the window for a long time. You watched the cars, buses, people and animals passing by. We couldn't help but wonder what was running through your head -what were you thinking and feeling? We hope that one day you can come back to this beautiful country - your first home - and fall in love with it all over again."

One Year Ago Today - Part 8

"Dearest M....

Throughout the process of our adoption, I have read lots of things about children having difficulty when waking up. Some stories shared about children waking up and just screaming out of fear and grief. So this morning as I laid in bed watching you, with the sun slipping through the windows and filling the room, I held my breath as I awaited to see how you would wake. When you finally opened your eyes, you looked right at me and smiled a smile so big. After laying there a little while longer you scooted over to me and gave me a kiss. It might my heart swell and brought tears to my eyes.

We spent the morning playing - you are such an observer. You love to look out the window and watch all of the cars and people passing by. Just like the first time I saw you... You also love to hide behind the window sheer and play peek - a - boo. You get so excited to come running out to Abat or I. Usually you are laughing so hard that it makes us laugh too.

We tried to put you down for a nap since we have the Embassy appointment today. You cuddled right up to me and wouldn't let me put you down. Once you finally fell asleep I laid you on the bed and you tucked your arms up underneath your chest and popped yourself up on your knees. So cute!

We waited over two hours for a 10 minute meeting that will allow for you to come home with us. I would have waited twelve hours if needed. I am so happy to bring you home.

Everyday I feel like you grow more and more comfortable with us and your smile comes more easily. I have enjoyed these moments of getting to know you better. I love you little M."