Grateful Edition:September 2012

Gift from Robin and Ruth. A hike with the guys. A full table. Dinner made. M's joy for school. Mike and Melissa. Colleen. Opportunities for advocacy. Time outside. Beautiful weather. Note from Lisa. Colleen. Peanut butter M&Ms. Venting. Kindness from kids. M's work. Matt's news. Cooking lessons. Sweet Melissa's with Melissa. A slow morning. A row of amazing kids. Injera. Vander. Early mornings with cuddling. Note from Van and Colleen. Junior high students. Chat with Kim. Office work at home. Afternoon coffee getting me through the day. Amanuel. Community. A fall hike. Aspen trees doing their thing. Moose! 45 minutes. Times of reflection. Matt. 3 years home. Soup and cuddling with the little man. Laughing.

Pondering

Kids Say the Darndest Things

While sitting at the table eating breakfast M turns to me and asks,

"Are you a zombie?"
                             "Hmm, what do you think?"
"Well, probably not because you have to be half living and half dead and you are only half living."

Three Years With the Little Man

The Best Way to Get Through a Work Day

A Fall Hike with a Surprise

Dominated

Our lives are back to being dominated by school and work so I was very thankful to have an afternoon cup of coffee delivered by a friend. 

Old Man in the Making

How to Pass Time

Give yourself a leather lizard tail and spend 20 minutes pushing the vacuum around the house.

Celebrating the New Year

 

Go Pokes!

Spent the afternoon with six incredible students and these lovely guys cheering on the Cowboy football team.

Happy Ethiopian New Year!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

While I was busy doing some work M asked me to get him something. When I told him to wait he replied,
"No! you have to get me it now or else you can't take a nap on Mother's Day!"

Rolling Through the Park

Words From Another Mother...

"I'm not ready. I'm not ready for his 1st day of school. Everything brims and I wish there was a just once more. I wish it had been longer - or I had been more. All that you have in the end is what you give away. How in the world can just sending a kid out into the world feel like launching to the moon? What's one small step for a child can be one giant leap for a mother."
                                                               ~Ann Voskamp

1st Day!

Twas the Night Before Kindergarten....

No one ever told me that being a mother would be so hard. I think that I anticipated that it would be emotional and trying at times. Never did I imagine the amount of worry and ache my heart would feel even in the late hours of the evening and wee hours of the morning.

Last spring we began debating what to do with the Little Man when school rolled around this September. You would have thought we were deciding whether to cut off his right leg or left leg. It felt like the hardest decision. We wanted to make sure that he was ready, make sure that he would be safe and accepted in his new community, make sure that he would be engaged in learning and challenged based on his specific abilities. I lost a lot of sleep over those two months, but fortunately we came to a decision that we felt was right for our Little Man and that decision brought with it a lot of peace.

Over the past few months we have anticipated the arrival of his first day of Kindergarten. There were some moments of extreme emotion on my part (not surprising if you know me well). However, for the most part I was able to remind myself that this is just another act of trusting, I would be sitting around at home waiting for his school day to end, and that ultimately this is what parenting is all about: establishing roots and letting them out of the nest. I would mediate on this and find some peace.  I wanted to celebrate with him this exciting moment - not be a complete train wreck. Then the days started approaching for him to begin school and I started to view each day as a precious moment that had to be seized and celebrated. My mama heart grew heavier and my emotions felt a little out of control.

I felt myself grieving the years that I have missed. Grieving that he hasn't even been home three years and already we are entering a different stage of life together- that he won't be my little "toddler" anymore - and as everyone says, 'we will blink and he will be going off to college.' He had some tough moments last year and I just want to protect his little heart that plans on saving the world from malaria.

I still can't put into words all that I am wrestling with in my heart - like I said this mama thing is hard - I just know that it has been feeling a lot of growing pains lately and a lot more grief than I anticipated.

Here's hoping for the best tomorrow - but still wanting him to need me just a little bit - and the rest of this Kindergarten year.

How to Help a Momma Out