Grateful 2012:January Edition

So back in November of 2010 I decided that I needed to make a change.

I needed to focus less on the negative in my life and a lot more on the positive.

It can be so easy to get swept up in the negativity of each moment and I was often forgetting how truly blessed I was despite whatever hardship I felt was being thrown my way.

After 14 months of recording daily the one thing that I was most grateful for that day I certainly have had a change of perspective. Don't get me wrong, I still have to fight to acknowledge the negative and then be done with it rather than holding on forever. However, this simple practice has helped me to start identifying a blessing much sooner.

I am not an inspirational person.

I am not a very articulate person.

I am a changed person.

So when 2012 rolled around, I decided to increase my personal challenge to identify two things that I am most grateful for each day, because I know that I have more than enough to be thankful for and I think we could all benefit from grateful reflections.

New beginnings. Mark. Another day. Coloring with M. Cuddling with M. Living safely. Time to read. Feeling growth. Ben. Knitting. Lunch date. My two M's. Talking with Ben. Adoption community. Melkam Genna. A slow morning. Warmth. Extra time. Walking. Cultural reminders. warmth. Time to reflect and find truth. Talking with Melissa. Sweet tea. Warm homes. Cinnamon rolls. Cups of chai. Cuddle time with M. MacWater family. Seeing Micah love on M. Jon. Laughing with M. Ellen. Linford kiddos. Knowing the power of my actions. A coffee date with Micah. Melissa's blog. Laughing with Becky. A little time. A compliment (two years later). Beth. Sleeping in some. Second chances. Colleen. Hope, reminders and truth from A., Dinner already made. After school chat with Colleen. Going home. Digging deeper. Lunch. Thai food. Inspiration. Tea with Colleen. Libraries. Colleen and Van. Play areas and basketball games. Lisa. Finishing a project. Email from Melissa. Health. Working out with Colleen. Lab school kiddos. Quiet evenings.

:(

Sickness is passing through our house so the little man wanted to do nothing but stay in his pajamas, wear his crown, and cuddle up to watch a PBS show.

A Special Date

Enjoying a Cowgirls Basketball game with our friends!

Christmas from Korea

We received a package from our lovely family in Korea and spent the rest of the evening reading Christmas cards from students in Korea. They brought a lot of smiles and laughter, but we were especially excited for the paw mittens (which are being worn constantly) and the instant coffee and "napping pants" (which are being enjoyed constantly). This surprise package brought a lot of joy but as always, brought with it the accompanying feelings of missing our dear Harrington family.

10th Grade Life Lessons

I sat in an IEP meeting today for a 10th grade student and was reminded once again how fortunate I am to rub shoulders with this population of students.

Two and a half hours went by discussing his abilities as a student.

Two and a half hours went by where we tried to determine if he is capable of surviving in our system and can meet the demands of a "regular" student.

Two and a half hours went by where we able to hear stories from this young man and his tia.

Stories of struggle. Stories of perseverance. Stories of eating dirt just fill a belly. Stories of hope. Stories of poverty experienced beyond my understanding. Stories of commitment. Stories of dedication.

I left the meeting feeling so emotional. Emotional because my heart aches knowing what this young man has lived through and the injustices he has experienced in his short life. Emotional because his Tia expresses a beautiful commitment of love that brings hope. Emotional because I feel so humbled to share in his journey with him, but know that there are so many others who have similar stories.

We are so lucky to be born in America and I wonder how many of us would be willing to endure all that he has.

Sinners and Saints

Image from : http://horsefeathersgifts.com

Ninety-One

We were summoned into the bathroom tonight during bath time so M. could proudly show us how he spelled ninety-one.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I am not sure where this came from or why Little M. finds it so funny, but tonight as we were playing he all of a sudden cleared his throat real loudly and then declared in a deep voice,

"I'm a grown-up!"

My puzzled look lead to him laughing hysterically and then repeating this process for the next five minutes at least....

At least it is free entertainment.

Little M and Babies

One of the last days that we were in Ethiopia, we headed to the orphanage next door for a farewell ceremony. We were asked to take our children upstairs to the baby room and help the children change into a traditional outfit that the orphanage was gifting them.

I remember getting M. into his outfit and as I folded up his other clothes he began walking around the room and patted a baby on the head and then wrapping his hands on each side of his face, he gently kissed both of their cheeks. I thought that the three babies must be special to him in some way, and then he proceeded to do the same thing with EVERY baby in the room. 19 children later, we were finally ready to walk back downstairs for the ceremony.

Over the two years that we have been home, there have been a few instances here and there that remind me of this situation and the love that he so freely gave.

Within the past six months it seems as if his heart has grown even more for younger children. He is constantly expressing to us his desire to have a baby. This isn't an every once in a while thing either - at least weekly we hear about this desire and his frustration that he doesn't have a little brother and baby sister to take care of.

We also see his heart in action whenever there are younger children around. Over Christmas our neighbors nephew was here visiting with his mother. M. would pace upstairs stating how he needed to check on Baby J and he was even more adamant about this when he could hear him crying. His heart yearned to love on him and hold him - it does with any baby. He would become so emotional when the baby was in his presence, but he wasn't given the opportunity to hold the baby and love on them. You could almost see his little heart aching. So when he was finally given the opportunity, his face lit up and he immediately asked me if I wanted to take a picture so we could remember it forever.

I love seeing these little moments that we shared with M. in Ethiopia continue to play out. At the same time my heart aches a little bit for him because we can't immediately give him one of the things that his heart most desires. I have no doubt that he will be a wonderful big brother - I just hope that he is given that opportunity someday.....for both of our heart's sake.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

We were sitting at the dinner table as a family when out of nowhere came this conversation:

Little M:

"How does God put babies in your tummy? ........ Does He shove it down your food pipe and then you just pop it out?"

Silence as Micah and I look at each other and try to decide where to go from here.

Micah:

"Well..... no."

Little M:

"Well then, what's in mommy's tummy?!"

Micah:

"Umm.... Intestines pretty much."

Little M:

"Intestines! What do they do?"

Micah:

"Well, they break down the food that you eat."

Little M:

"Wow! That's so cool and amazing!"

Melkam Genna!

Today is Ethiopian Christmas. M. couldn't be more excited to celebrate another Christmas - especially one that is all about Ethiopia!

In keeping with tradition, we gave him a gift of clothing.

Then we loaded up the car and headed down to Aurora, Colorado to spend the remainder of the afternoon celebrating Genna at the Ethiopian Evangelical Church. We met up with two other families from Wyoming and M. was able to spend some time with one of his favorite buddies.

The church was so wonderful in organizing this special day and we felt humbled to be served by Pastor Ermias and the many other Ethiopian families in the area. We enjoyed a wonderful meal (dora wat and injera) and then were able to spend the next few hours learning a variety of Ethiopian games.

We were then brought back together to share in a little dancing, enjoy some coffee and baklava, and hear from a man who is an orphan from Ethiopia. He shared about the importance of adoption and spoke some very encouraging words. I intended to write them down because I was so moved, but I just ended up crying and silently praying that we could live up to all that he was giving us thanks for. Before leaving town, we stopped by an Ethiopian market and bought some injera. M. was so excited and for the first five minutes after getting back into the car he kept saying, "I love injera so much!"

Long before M. came home, Micah and I talked extensively about our desire to continue sharing his culture with him and honoring that in our family. We think that this is so important and sometimes I grow so frustrated with how difficult this becomes when living in Wyoming. On the drive home we reflected on some of M's behaviors and emotions while at the celebration, and we couldn't help but speculate that he is already feeling the emotions of being caught between two worlds. Typically he is the token black child in our family, extended family, social gatherings, church, etc... and experiences very little of his culture on a daily basis. Here there were overwhelming amounts of young children that looked like him, there were so many culture reminders between the injera, the language, the clothing, the affection poured out by the people...... We couldn't be certain, but we often stood there wondering if the thoughts running through his little head were of sadness and confusion; if his heart was aching for the things of his beginning years. All of this made each of us a little sad, and all I could think of was the line from a story I read to third graders last year that says, "My heart beats in two places." As much as the ache hurts, I would rather we continue to experience the ache, than not experience anything at all.

What Real Women Look Like

It is easy to get caught up in all of the images thrown our way that misguide us in thinking what a women should look like.

Thankfully there is a website that reminds us What Real Women Look Like.

9th Grade Life Lessons

At the end of the day I was sitting with some 9th grade students.

Both are new to the United States this year, and despite navigating a new culture and language on top of being teenagers, they are doing quite well.

Not sure how the topic came up, but we began talking about their home countries.

Soon they were telling me how drugs, rebels, gangs, corruption and injustices are impacting their communities back home.

I sat there listening to their stories, gaining a glimpse into their lives and was filled with emotion at all they have experienced in their young lives.

As my eyes welled up with tears I asked them if they are ever scared and without skipping a beat they both told me,

"No! This is how we have always known life."

I sat silent, mulling this over, thinking to myself how strong they are and in the same moment of time getting ticked off that this is a part of our world. No child should ever be comfortable with violence and fear. What has happened that has led us to this point?

They filled the silence by commenting that Americans are a driving force in both countries regarding the drug problem because they have the money.

This makes my heart even more heavy.

I have so much to learn.

The Fear of Love

I come to the fear of love

as I have often come,

to what must be desired

and to what must be done.

Only love can quiet the fear

of love, and only love can save

from diminishment the love

that we must lose to have.

We stand as in an open field,

blossom, leaf, and stem,

rooted and shaken in our day

heads nodding in the wind.

Wendell Berry