Truthful Reminders

Within the past few days I've come across this particular piece twice - taking some time to ponder this and let it all sink in.

Reflecting on Love

Curt Gowdy Adventure

Go out, go out I beg of you     
And taste the beauty of the wild.     
Behold the miracle of the earth     
With all the wonder of a child.  

Edna Jaques

Home

We took a drive today and headed up into the mountains for a hike. It was a beautiful way to spend our afternoon: spending time outside, seeing my kids breathe deeply again as they take off running to explore, gaining a few moments of silence, catching a few glimpses of my husband as he wanders through the trees. These moments bring me a strong sense of peace and an enormous amount of gratitude. 

As we were heading back into town the song "Home" was playing on the radio. Maybe it was the magic of the afternoon. Maybe it was the two semesters of studying music therapy kicking in, but I suddenly found myself weeping as I listened to the lyrics and realized that this song was actually offering words to my unspoken prayers over the past five months as we navigate life with the three babes. We have been attempting to navigate our way through this uncharted territory that has been full of moments when each one of us is paralyzed with fear from some "demon" that is rising up within us. Those moments rarely come with a clear direction as to what we should be doing next, so more often then not we hunker down and try to wrap our arms around each other, as walls are torn down and trust in family hopefully becomes a little easier to hold onto. 

"Home" Phillip Phillips

Hold on, to me as we go
As we roll down this unfamiliar road
And although this wave (wave) is stringing us along
Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
You get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. Oo-oo-oo-oo [x2]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. Aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [x4]

Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lost, you can always be found

Just know you're not alone
Cause I'm gonna make this place your home

Ooo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo. Ao-oo-oo-oo [x4]
Aaa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa-aa. Aa-aa-aa-aaaaaa [x4]

Pondering

I wish we could all stop looking to the horizon for beauty and find it near us, all around us, profoundly close to us in the hearts and faces we meet each day.

I wish my heart would never stop softening, never tire of breaking, never quit believing for one second that every human matters.

All we need is more love.

The good news? We grow it the same way we grow peas and peppers.
We grow it by planting it.

~Flower Patch Farmgirl

Words of Encouragement

Still not sure where to hang our chalkboard, but until we figure that out we provided our waiting hearts with some encouragement. 

Pondering

"Suffering invites us to be radically human with one another, perhaps doing nothing more than reaching across the table, clasping hands, and weeping together. We are afforded the chance to create a safe place for someone else to mourn; nothing is needed but space, proximity, presence, empathy. You cannot possibly give an answer, so don’t try.Grief cannot be sidestepped; it must be endured, so may we be a people who endure with one another rather than constantly mitigating, explaining, propping up. Let’s just hold one another through the dark night and wait for the sun to rise."

~Jen Hatmaker

Pondering

"Sometimes the first time we pray, we cry out in the deepest desperation, 'God help me.' This is a great prayer, as we are then at our absolutely most degraded and isolated, which means we are nice and juicy with the consequences of our best thinking and are thus possibly teachable."

"I was so sensitive about myself and the world that I cried or shriveled up at the slightest hurt. People always told me, 'You've got to get a thicker skin.' like now they might say, 'Let go and let God.' Believe me, if I could, I would, and in the meantime I feel like stabbing you in the forehead."

"We will see and read about deprivation and barbarity beyond our ability to understand, much less process."

"If we stay where we are, where we're stuck, where we're comfortable and safe, we die there. If you want to know only what you already know, you're dying. You're saying: Leave me alone; I don't mind this little rathole."

From: Help, Thanks, Wow by: Anne Lamott

Pondering

“You will lose someone you can’t live without,and your heart will be badly broken, and the bad news is that you never completely get over the loss of your beloved. But this is also the good news. They live forever in your broken heart that doesn’t seal back up. And you come through. It’s like having a broken leg that never heals perfectly—that still hurts when the weather gets cold, but you learn to dance with the limp.” 
― Anne Lamott

Pondering

Pondering

Pondering

"If you are wise - are you listening, my brother? - instead of torturing yourself over what you could not help and did not foresee, you will allow the grief in you to be a simple open wound that Christ may touch and, in good time, heal.  This thing happened.  It has broken you to pieces.  If you can find the humility to allow it, grace will also heal you: you will be stronger in the end for this, one day.  This grieving is the filth and mess that turns out to be the bed of sticky clay that, if we plunge our hands into it and bring them out full, we can craft into a grail of hope.  It is so.  I promise you."  

~ Penelope Wilcock

Pondering

A Writer in the Making

"I am at the California Zoo."
The drawing is of a cheetah.
It is going to be hard for me to not save every single piece of writing..I love them too much!

Thankful for....

With my students we have been reflecting on what we are thankful for this month. I have been trying to ask the Little Man when I remember to. The other night at church they had post-it notes out for people to write what they are thankful for. As I was filling mine out, M came up and wanted to write his own.....

Needless to say I started crying and was overwhelmed with the heart of this boy I have the privilege of calling my son. I couldn't bear to post it on the board and leave it at church so I stole it and brought it home where it now hangs on our fridge as a beautiful reminder.

Pondering

"I've spent most of my life 

and most of my friendships

 holding my breath and hoping 

that when people get close enough

 they won't leave, 

and feeling that it's a matter of time 

before they figure me out and go."

~Shauna Niequist

 Bittersweet

Pondering

"By building walls, and wearing masks, and refusing to admit we need help, much less ask for it or accept it, we're shortchanging ourselves and our friends  We're trading authentic friendship and rich relationships for smoke and mirrors and false pretenses of perfection." 

Mary, Giving Up On Perfect

Pondering

Dream Act

Illegal from John X. Carey on Vimeo.

Our Job

“Our job is to love others without stopping to inquire whether or not they are worthy. That is not our business and, in fact, it is nobody’s business. What we are asked to do is to love, and this love itself will render both ourselves and our neighbors worthy.”

(Thomas Merton)